Lost Arts and Anti-Feminism

I have recently become enamored of the 1950’s. My house was built in 1956. And I found 2 really great blogs that are experiments in living the lifestyle of the 40’s and 50’s.

I don’t want to go so far as to live all aspects of my life as if I were transported to the past, but I would really like to incorporate a lot of the ideals and skills that were present then into my current 2009 life.

Things to Keep
1950’s
* Always looking nice
-It’s a little depressing to see people schlepping around in sweats and t-shirts. It doesn’t take any more time to put on real pants.
-Taking the time to do hair and fix the face. Not because we are expected to, but because it just makes you feel good to look put together.
-Not staying in your PJ’s all day. No excuse other than illness.
-Baking from scratch.
I just started doing this. It tastes so good and gives such a feeling of accomplishment
-Saves money and can be healthier
-Cooking more instead of going out.
Same sense of accomplishment, saves money, makes the house smell good.
An excuse to get out candlesticks, or buy vintage ones like I just did.
* Staying home
-It seems to be the norm today to be overworked and stressed. I don’t know about anyone else, but I would love to work part-time and use the rest of my time volunteering and keeping house.
*Self-Reliance
-It seems that few people in my generation and younger have many useful skills outside of the workplace.
-I have friends who can’t even sew on a button
-I want to cook for myself, do my own laundry and mend (and possibly make) my own clothes
-Why pay someone to do the things that I can do on my own?
* Sense of Community
-Ladies clubs, I just started one that meets once a month and we have coffee and discuss things we are up to and the things we want to be involved in
-Volunteering, I am donating blood, crocheting squares for Warm Up America and applied to work at the hospital one night a week

2009
*Computers
-Blogging anyone?
-Internet shopping for used items, better prices, and selling your handmade wares
* The option to work outside the home
* The option to not have children without being thought of in a certain way ( though people still do sometimes think that way)
* Equality in the workplace: not 100% there yet, but ‘we’ve come a long way baby!’
* My Dyson Slim (ahhhh)

Things to Ditch
1950’s
* Girdles
-I can’t get into it, though I do like the hose and garter belt…sexy!
* Keeping house because it is a woman’s place.
-I love to keep house. I don’t know how much I would love it if it were my only option.
2009
* Online Social Networking Sites
-I may be in the minority, but I HATE these things. I see so many people waste so much time on them. Please, if you are my ‘friend’, pick up the phone and call me. Write me a letter. I will not follow you on twitter.
I think Social Networking Sites have their place, but from what I can see, they are misused and way overused.
In a time when we have so many ways to connect to people, the statistics say that we are feeling more isolated than ever. Maybe because we are holed up in a computer room instead of out with real live people.
* Having-It-All Syndrome
-I see no need to have a full-time career, a brood of children, a happy husband, a dog and still have time to be Mary Poppins. I don’t see how it is possible. And for those who do accomplish it, when do you sleep?

How about a little bit of balance? There is way too much pressure to have and do it all. And then we end up having to hire people to do have of it, and we don’t even get to enjoy what we have…

It’s upsetting to me to read articles online about how looking to the past, to want a more simple way of life is anti-feminist. I don’t think it is at all. Women who choose to live their lives in this way are doing just that, making a CHOICE. That is what feminism is all about. These women are not being caged in or oppressed, that have taken a look at all the options that are open to them, and they have said yes to the ones that make them happiest and most fulfilled.

I couldn’t be a full time stay at homer, but I respect the choice of those who do. Just like I respect the choice of those who work full-time, part-time, have children or choose not to have children. They are ALL valid choices. There is no one right path to being a liberated woman.

My future plan? Once Brian’s law school loan is paid, I want to scale back to working 3 days a week. I then want to volunteer at the hospital 8 hours a week and then keep house the rest of the time. Tending a garden, cleaning, making dresses and baking pies are all things that I never knew I loved to do until recently. Sure, we will need to make sacrifices and keep a budget in order for me to stay home part-time, but its worth it for a little bit of balance and a whole lot of happy.

Fall Updates

So, in light of my Failed October Spend Freeze, I figure I can at least share with you the fruits of my failure.

1. Banana Republic Martin fit #718 trousers. PERFECT fit. I got the silver color. I would get it in the charcoal if they had it in stock. I had to have them hemmed even though I bought the short length. Where else on earth is a 33 inch inseam considered short? So I had the cuff taken out too, I feel like cuffs shorten my legline. Originally $80, on sale for $59.00 plus I had a $25 gift card. My total out of pocket: $34

2. JCrew Maya Merino ruched cardigan in Sweet Guava. I LOVE the color. Especially with all of the grey I have been wearing. I have been eyeing it forever and it ws the last one in my size. it never did go on sale:( $88 plus 15% student discount (my brother is the student): total out of pocket is $75...still too much, but I had a weak moment!

3. Ann Taylor Loft black and white stripped pleated shirt. LOVE. I had to get the petite size because the length and sleeves were waaaay too long. I have a hard time finding button down shirts that look good on my bust and this one is great. I tried on the white first, but it was too sheer and I didn't want to have to layer. Originally $69, was on sale for $29.99 plus an extra 25% off! Out of pocket: $22.50

4. Nine West Peacock flat in grey leather. I did need one more pair of neutral flats. I love the pleating, I didn't want a plain ole flat. These were love at first sight.Were on sale for $49.99 from $69, plus I got to use a friends employee discount. I cannot disclose the amount. I win big though:)

I also got 2 more sweaters at ATL that were on sale from $49.50 to $14.99 plus an additional 25% off. One is a black turtleneck sweater. I have not worn a turtleneck in at least 10 years. I am a little scared about how it will look with my short neck and large chest. I'll let you know!

The other sweater is a royal blue double v-neck.

If you ignore the fact that I was not really wanting to buy clothes this month, I got really good stuff at really good prices. And I paid cash for it all, so no accumulated debt.

It can't be wrong if it feels so good!

Improvements and Sucking at Saving

I have been so busy doing all of the things that I have been waiting 7 years to do to my house! I have had little time for anything else, but that has been fine with me.

I have LOVED every second of rehabbing my home. With the exception of 1 or 2 projects, I have done it all by myself. For those just tuning in, here is what I’ve accomplished since mid-July:
- Ripped out shower doors and installed a shower rod
- Patched, primed and painted bathroom walls and ceiling
- Re-caulked bathtub and sink
- Installed exhaust fan in bathroom (ex-landlord did this)
- Painted living room 3 walls grey/green, 1 wall burnt orange
- Painted guestroom/office olive green and created wall art with purple and cream toile fabric and an oil canvas
- Painted bedroom a very green, blue color. Sort of like teal, but a little less green and more muted. Like a deep sea color.
- Re-finished my wood floors with my own hands
- Water-sealed my back deck
- Knocked out front steps and built front porch (ex landlord)
- Whitened bathroom grout
- Found a leak and fixed it
- Installed a towel ring
- Painted front door, back door, and columns on front porch
- Installed and programmed a digital thermostat

More to come!
- New windows being installed November 3rd!!!! I am so excited! Especially since we are doing a garden window in front of the kitchen sink
- New white 2 inch faux wood blinds in every window. I will follow the window installers and put in the blinds myself as they complete each window.
- Spring of 2010, my good friend and her dad are helping us put up a real white picket fence! The fence we have now is green metal spikes and chicken wire….
- Spring 2010, a potager within my new fence!

Now about the savings. I suck. Not at saving so much as not spending. I still save every single week. A good amount, and into 2 savings accounts. But as posted earlier, I was trying to do a spend-freeze in October. I failed. Big time.

I purchased 2 sweaters, a pair of shoes, a button down shirt, a pair of trousers and a cardigan. Granted, these were all one sale and I had giftcards and coupons…but it is still cheating.

But my huge cheat is the windows and blinds. I did have a little savings account specifically for house stuff that I used to buy the blinds. And we had planned on getting the windows in the Spring, when we could pay cash for them. But after some research, we realized that if we get the windows now, the $ we will save in energy this winter will far outweigh the $ we pay in interest by financing the windows. Plus, we are doing 1 year same as cash, so if we pay them off by next November, we won’t pay interest at all.

The windows are pricier than we had anticipated, but we decided that since we aren’t moving for another 30 years (if at all), it was worth it to invest in the best windows we could manage.

So, now that my wardrobe is stocked for cold weather and my house is all energy efficient, I think I can attempt a spend freeze in November.

The whole point was to make sure that my credit card was paid off before my first mortgage payment. That was a little more ambitious than it was realistic. But we have cut the balance in half and, barring any unforeseen issues, we should be all paid off before the first window payment.

Even though I suck, I am still awesomeJ

More

I have a lot. I have good friends, a great dog, a wonderful husband, my own house, a solid job and good health. But I am restless. Again. Every time I complete a huge project, I am elated for a few weeks, but inevitably get that empty feeling that comes like after opening all the presents and realizing Christmas is over.

What is it that I need? I don’t know, but there are ideas of things that may lead me to personal fulfillment. I wish I could just be content, but I don’t think that it is in my nature.

Ideas:
*Starting a ‘club’ of sorts. I want to feel more of a sense of community, to be a part of something rather than living in my own little bubble.
-3 of my girlfriends are humoring me next week by participating in the first meeting of the club
-I don’t know what the ultimate goal of the club is, but I think we will all come with our own ideas about what we wish to get out of it

* Volunteering. I already give blood regularly (I am going today! They love my rare B-) But I think I am ready to start donating something that I value more, my time.
-Last week I applied to volunteer at a hospital that is on my way home from work. I hope to start the screening and training process soon.

* Nourishing my insides. No, not my organs, but my ‘soul’. I have tried for years to find a church that appeals to me. To no avail. I turned to eastern philosophies, and though they appeal to me, are so far removed from how I was raised that I have a hard time committing to their ideals. I am now studying something called the ‘Inner West’, western philosophies and ideologies like Kabbalah, Gnosticism and Astrology. I am particularly interested in Gnosticism. We’ll see.

All of these have a common theme, being a part of something that is bigger than myself. This is so important to me right now, especially with the world being in the state that is in. It’s easy to feel depressed, hopeless and alone.

I think that to go outside myself in these ways will be very challenging, considering that I live inside my head most of the time…I’m only a pretend extrovert. But I also think that these can be some of the most rewarding things that I have done.

I have to at least try. At the risk of sounding selfish, with all that I have, I still need something more.

What things in your life bring you contentment?

And she is how old?

40! Yes, our lovely subject Amy is 40 years old!


The average guess on her age was 30. How is it that she looks so young?

There are several factors:
* Her white teeth, yellowing teeth instantly age the face
* Her hair is youthful, highlighted, modernly cut, and not over-done
* Her makeup is very natural and light, no heavy-handed eyeliner or sparkly shadow
- Shimmering makeup is a no-no for mature skin, it emphasizes lines
- Dark makeup is also aging, bringing attention to flaws
- Soft makeup diffuses flaws, and gives a healthy look to the face
* Her brows are nicely arched and really open her eyes up without the surprised look
* Her eyes are bright, due to her fun-loving personality, she is always smiling around the office!


What Might Give Her Away
* Crepe-ing around her eyes (look closely to see)
*and her ruddiness, see how white her neck is compared to her face?

In person, you can see that the ruddiness is actually some sun damage mixed with broken capillaries. Each of these factors, in Amy's case, have more to do with lifestyle choices than anything. Things such as smoking, excessive drinking, using hot water on the face, spicey foods and stress are all potential factors, a few of which Amy is guilty of (I won't tell you which ones!).

A clue that could go either way
* Her posture

Her posture is slouched, which it often is in person. This can give the impression of insecurity and inexperience, making one think that she is just young and shy. On the other hand,the stooped posture could make her appear older.

Either way, she is beautiful and should stand up straight with confidence. Good posture never made anyone look older!

What Really Ages Us: An Experiment Part I

When most people think of looking old, they think of wrinkles. Pruny old, knarled ladies with blue permed hair reeking of Shalimar. Ok, this is just the image in my head of ‘old’.

The truth is that there are a lot of factors that go into how old we look. And it isn’t really about looking old, so much as worn. An old leather handbag can be gorgeous if well taken care of. A worn leather handbag of any age does not look good.

I will be undertaking an experiment that will rely on my readers and their comments to come to the conclusion. I will be posting pictures of real women (mostly from my office), who have willing submitted to having us critique them. I will not tell you at first how old the women are, you will have to guess and tell me why you have come to your conclusions.

From this, I hope to open a discussion about what it is that makes us appear to age, and what there is that we can do about.

Enjoy!

Our first victim, er, subject is Amy. In the comments section, take a guess at her age and be sure to throw out a few reasons why that was the number that came to you.

Please don't be afraid to be honest. The subjects do not read this blog and their names have been changed. You won't be hurting anyone's feelings.

Amy

Conversion

I am a convert. An unwilling, kicking and screaming convert.

To what, you ask?

Skinny pants.

I swore over and over and over since their appearance on the racks at ATL that I would NOT wear skinny pants or jeans. I am too curvy; they are too trendy and just NO. I felt a revulsion for them, mostly because I knew that they would look horrible on me.

Well, in my quest for the perfect pair of black pants, I tried a pair on. I was feeling crappy anyway since none of the dozens of pairs that I had already tried on, so what was one more really bad pair?

Prepared to be disappointed and disgusted, I walked into the Kenneth Cole Factory store in my area and found a pair of black cotton sateen skinny pants that had just arrived.

I threw caution to the wind and grabbed a pair.

To my utter shock, they did not look terrible, in fact, they looked a little baggy, and so I happily ran out to get the next smaller size (joy!).

They fit like a glove, and somehow, miraculously, my thighs and ass did not look disproportionally (spellcheck did not recognize this word, but I swear it is a word, and if it isn’t it should be) huge. And my legs seemed to look longer. In fact, all of me looked a little smaller.

These were magic pants.

I didn’t hesitate to buy them.

I wore them to work the next day, a little less confident than I had been the day before. I asked every woman on my floor if they looked OK. Even women I barely talk to on a regular basis. They all said the same thing, they looked fine crazy lady.

I have since worn the pants 3 more times and love them more every time. I even broke out my Levis 505’s with the straight legs that look skinny on me, and rocked those too.

I might even cheat on my spending freeze to get a pair in charcoal gray.

Skinnies are here to stay, and surprisingly, I am thrilled.